those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize