i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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