Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
