I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
