Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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