Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize