All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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