my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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