Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
