He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
