The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
