when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
