i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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