Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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