Grow some girl-balls and come out already
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
