i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
