If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
