I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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