operation harelip BJ is a go
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
