Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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