Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
