Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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