shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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