i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
