She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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