just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
