I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
