I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
