i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
