hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
