listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
