honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
