if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
