I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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