South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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