we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize