My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
