Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
