Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
