how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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