How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
birth control should be required to get into college
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
