i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
