i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
