Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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