Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
