Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
