I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
