Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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