Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
