You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
