Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
