I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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