dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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