i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
