if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
