I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
