Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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