i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
