Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
