would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize