is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
