god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize