Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
