one two three fourrrrnication!
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
