I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
