Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize