haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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