So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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