At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
