if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
