Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
