omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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