dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
