I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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